Whatever

I don't know what is happening, some times i feel enlightened or like god and some times i feel all is ok. I try to find some problem now, but i have to search in the mind, and is difficult.
Aaa! i found some problem, i want to give satsang, but my mind says u are not ready yet, you have to become completly pure, or wait untill the people ask u.
I listen Karl Renz, and he says that whatever u do or not do, you are always enlightened Or you cannot become en... cause en... is ur nature.
Whatever we say or not say comes from the mind. It looks imposible to stop the mind, and who will stop it? another part of the mind, mind actually means control.
Mooji says the same, mind is like the wind, it comes and goes, you are the space that the wind comes and goes.
But some times i have the desire to merge with the self. I dont know how to explain it. Whatever is hapenning to my conciousness. But i am always there uninterupted.
So bla, bla, bla.
Whatever i explain should use words, ideas, concepts. How you can put the unlimited to the limited. Now i feel i am always here. Kisses